Friday, March 4, 2011

Fun Friday XXII: Always Changing


Happy Friday, Dear Readers!

I've almost survived my first week of hardcore training...only two more classes to go, and I'm actually looking forward to them. Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with personal trainer extraordinaire Helene Massicotte before my boxing class. I'll let you know how that goes.

Today's topic is a little more serious than usual, because I've been in a serious mood all week. What would you change about yourself if you could? It's great to be happy with who you are, but I know lots of us also strive for self-improvement. So be honest--if you could change anything, what would it be? Can you change it? If so, how, and are you already on your way?

I'm sure this won't come as a surprise to anyone who has read this blog this week, but I wish I had more confidence. I can blame my lack of confidence on a lot of things--I wasn't exactly raised in a "love thyself" kind of family, to put it mildly. A string of abusive boyfriends followed, and I've always taken any criticism to heart, whether or not it was warranted. But that was then, this is now. I don't want to spend my entire life limited by my childhood or anything traumatic that happened in my past.

There's quite a few things I don't like about myself, and they're mostly related to confidence. I can be too sensitive and highly defensive--both of these qualities would dissipate if I was a more confident person. Thankfully, the process I am currently going through in kickboxing--training for the green prajioud and to fight in the ring at last--will help me immensely in this quest. I know I am going to take some very hard knocks along the way (both physically and mentally). There will be times when I doubt myself and get depressed over my lack of ability. (I've already had a mini-meltdown, and it's only the first week!) But you can't fight without confidence--it seriously isn't possible.

As my kru told me yesterday, "the moment you start thinking negative, you've already lost".

Sure, the full-body makeover will be a nice bonus, but what I'm most looking forward to out of all this is the makeover of my mind.

How about you, Dear Readers? I suspect this won't be a popular post for comments, but I hope some of you are brave enough to share.

5 comments:

  1. It’s funny but as I get older I tend to be much more tolerant and accepting of who I am. I feel good in my skin these days. But if I had to choose one thing about me to change it would be... I have always had big feet (women’s size 10.5) and have had trouble finding nice – and affordable – shoes my size.
    It’s a silly thing, I admit….

    Either that or I would change my fear of shopping for clothes. (I totally suck - I have no fashion sense and couldn't throw an outfit together if my life depended on it) There...I said it.;0)

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  2. Bravo, Lisa, you brave person! I thought I was going to be left hanging all alone out here. You can't change your shoe size, but you can get over your fear of shopping with a fashion-savvy friend. Make it a fun outing--I used to have a lot of fun shopping with friends.

    I went from a teenager who hated herself to someone who felt fairly confident in who she is. It's just the last couple years or so (probably as I challenge myself more) that I've realized I still have a lot of work to do in the confidence department. When something is difficult for me, my internal voice needs to be "I can DO this", and not "I suck". I need to change my default! :)

    Thanks for commenting.

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  3. In might of my last post, you'd probably guess that I'd like to be more assertive. While I've gained a lot in that area since my book was published still have miles to go. I'm working at it..

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  4. Okay, just so you know I hit the "m" instead of the "l". Didn't see that until I hit send..LOL! I guess I need to learn better typing skills while I'm at it..LOL

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  5. Everyone makes typos, Laura...no worries. :) And I need to work on the assertiveness aspect myself. I can relate, at least in part, to what you're going through.

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