Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Let's Hear It For The Boy


Hello dear readers,

I'm not one of those people who thinks that you have to be in a relationship to be happy or successful. Whenever I've been single, I've enjoyed not being accountable to anyone but myself. However, while I don't think you need a relationship to move you forward, I do think the wrong one can hold you back.

I've been dating Chris for a year and six months. In that time, I started writing again, and finished the first new novel I've written in five years. I set a date for my red prajioud test and began training for it. And I've finally gotten serious about getting out of debt--something I'd put off for far too long. There's a light at the end of the tunnel now, and it's not too far away. It feels fantastic.

Is it a coincidence that I've been able to achieve all those things since The Boy has been in my life? I don't think so.

Chris doesn't like to take credit for my success. He tends to say that the timing just happened to be right for me to accomplish those things. But I think there's a lot to be said for having a constant source of support and encouragement, not to mention sound advice. It's a lot easier to tackle something when your significant other understands the importance of it. Much easier than when your partner is whining about all the expensive vacations he wants you to take.

Adversity makes us stronger. But when you're not fighting against someone else every step of the way, you have more energy for the things you want to accomplish. Instead of crying, you can write a novel. Instead of screaming, you can get into shape and tackle a challenging martial arts test. There's no emotional distress to send you to those online shopping sites for a jolt of euphoria. Because that good feeling wears off fast--take my word for it.

The Boy is not the one sitting at that computer writing the book, or busting his butt in the dojo. I still have to do those things on my own. But he is the one who goes out late at night--while it's still snowing, mind you--to shovel a path for me. He is the one who meets me with a cab after my first Level 2 class, so I don't have to slog my heavy equipment bag on two buses to get home. He cooks me dinner when he knows I'm going to be too tired to move. He rubs my sore and tired feet. He asks to read whatever I've written, and wants to help make it the best he can. I honestly couldn't list the countless things he does to make my life easier, because I'd run out of room. But I thought it was high time for a very public thank you.

Since I believe in giving credit where credit is due, let's hear it for The Boy!

How about you, dear readers? Who is the wind beneath your wings?

14 comments:

  1. You guys look lovely in that picture ;-)

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  2. What a great post Holli… I think we should constantly recognize those important people in our lives… I wrote a blog earlier this year recognizing the men in my life, namely my father, my brother, my sons, and my boyfriend with a paragraph each. I mentioned the importance of my BF in yesterday’s comments so I think today I will give to my father:

    My father has influenced many things I’ve done. He has guided me through tough times and given me a small portion of his vast wealth of knowledge. I learn from him every single day I spend with him. His calm and quiet demeanor is noteworthy and enviable. He sees things that many people miss. He is spiritual in ways most people will never experience. He has a peculiar ability to talk about a multitude of topics both in person and on the phone and make everyday events more exciting and humorous. He can talk to anyone anywhere and does. I will always be his “little girl”, and I see that in his eyes. I love you Fa!

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  3. Yea for Chris! He is too modest :)

    But I will also say it is a combination of having good people around you and having a series of events fall in place. Bottom line - you are great for each other!

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  4. @ Lisa - thanks very much. I must say that you are very lucky to have such a close relationship with your father. My own is strained (although better than it was when I was growing up), and this effects how able I am to accept love from other males (or even accept that they love me in the first place). There's a reason it took me so long to find Chris!

    @ TS - thanks for your comment, but let's give him all the credit today. I don't give him credit enough! :)

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  5. Oh YES. We girls learn to love from our father's there is no doubt about it. Mine was pretty emotionally distant so therefore guess what kind of guy I'm attracted to -- the emotionally unavailable, of course. If he can fix stuff for me that = love.

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  6. Oh yes, I've definitely experienced the emotionally unavailable man! Then I'd deliberately go for guys who seemed to be the opposite, and I ended up with passionate, wildly emotional...psychos. Thankfully, Chris is neither!

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  7. You've got one of the good ones, Holli. And so do I! My husband is my best friend. I am a better person because of him.

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  8. Aww...that's really nice, Madeline. Thanks for sharing.

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  9. Holli....what a beautiful post! I too have a man (my wonderful/amazing husband) in my life that encourages and supports me in anything I do or any decision I make. It is a wonderful feeling knowing you have someone whocares and beleives so much in you! I am so happy that you have someone so special in your life....keep him around!

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  10. It is important to have someone there for support. You are fortunate to have Chris in your corner. I've been married for over thirty years, and my husband is that support for me.

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  11. Thanks, Lorene and Laura. Glad to hear that you have that kind of support in your life, as well.

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  12. Chris is a wonderful guy! You two make a great couple :)

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  13. Thanks, Andrea! I think so too. And sorry for the belated reply!

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